Attacking Porn!

This is my braveheart moment…You guys know what I am talking about.  The time that I have to step up, jump at the forefront even if it means going through the heat of battle.  We can have freedom and today I am proclaiming it.  I may never fight a giant, or kill a bear with my bare hands, but today I am proclaiming war.

“Heavenly father, may this battle bring you glory! On my own I am nothing, but in you, I have strength, authority, and the ability to overcome.  This is the most bold move that I have ever made, but I know that you are with me.  Father, defeat pornography, and sexual addictions through this. Let our lusts and desires be turned into a passion that will proclaim your freedom to everyone that is in bondage. Lord, I am yours, use me!”

Any of you that have read rachel’s blog know that porn has been a struggle for me.  I have had many people close to me question why I opened up about it.  Plain and simple, I had to.  An alcoholic doesn’t have to open up about their addiction, it shows.  A smoker has an obsessive need to smoke and you cant miss that addiction when its time for smoke breaks at work.  Many addictions are visible.  Not porn…..its the dirty little secret that plagues married men everywhere.  I intend in the next few posts to expose porn. Pray for me as I begin this all out attack on porn.

First up…..How does it start???

Just like the saying that Rome wasn’t built in a day, porn starts small.  For many young guys porn begins by either a dirty magazine or media.  It is so difficult to attack porn because it is everywhere.  You cant turn on the tv or go to a grocery store without having images everywhere.  Just walk down the magazine aisle of your grocery store and you will understand what I mean. 

The most common phrase in advertising is that “Sex sells”. With this mentality in our society it is no wonder that porn, affairs, lust, and everything sexual is our strongest battle.  Often times as a christian man, I feel like I’m walking through the everglades with 50 lbs of chicken around my neck…knowing that alligators are all around waiting to attack.  Even though I may not see much of the attacker, I know that the attack is coming.

Just imagine your adolescent in the midst of all this danger, it is waiting, lurking, and ready to make that attack, the only thing that we can do is prepare for it. The picture that came to mind is a scene from an old James Bond movie.  He is put in the middle of lake full of alligators.  James Bond (being “the man” that he is) runs across the tops of those alligators and makes it to safety.   2 Timothy 2:22 says that we are to flee youthful lusts.  After being entangled by pornography it is no surprise to me that the best defense is to turn and run.  The key, is to know what direction to run! If you just run away from lust, you will still be entangled.  The only way to make it safely to dry ground is to run above the trap of sexual sin and run TO JESUS

A day with the kids

I genuinely love my life!  God has blessed me with an amazing family and I love them with everything in me.  These kids are a blast.  But the fun doesn’t stop for a moment.  They have been up two hours, been in three shoving matches, cried over toys and had cracker jacks.  At this moment, Jackson is running around with a sippy cup in each hand swapping between the two as if he’s going to thirst to death…oops spoke too soon, that makes 4 shoving matches. 

Olivia is becoming an artist, she said that this is a turtle that she drew.

Olivia the artist

Jackson had to have his attitude adjusted!

its not fun to stand in the corner

awestruck!

Today I am just amazed.  Words simply cannot express the joy, comfort, peace, blessing and every other thing in my life.  For several months I have been in a season of life that just did not make sense.  Everyone has times that they go through where things are great or difficult or however you may describe it, different.  I believe that this past week has marked me fully stepping into a season of joy.  In the midst of layoff and poor economy, I can say that I am blessed.

My God is so amazing and he has caused me to better understand Isaiah 40:31.  “Those who wait on the Lord will find new strength, They will fly high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint” (NLT).  It is not necessarily about the physical act of achieving these things, but it is the spiritual act of achieving them.  I feel as though I have found new strength after a long battle.  I can truly say that I am flying high like an eagle.  The Lord has given me an indescribable peace and comfort in the middle of what many would think to be a difficulty.   I feel as though a season of difficulty is behind me, and my heart rejoices in the faithfulness and word of the Lord God Almighty.  I do serve an amazing God. 

3 things that I recognize today:

1. I am blessed beyond measure.
2. I choose to be responsibly irresponsible
3. I will chase after God Almighty and run to him with all I have, because without Him I am nothing!

May God bless you!

Top ten:Why I love my life…

Here are the top ten reasons that I love my life.

1. I am blessed beyond measure.
2. I have an amazing wife
3. My kids can make me go from upset to laughing in seconds
4. I go to an awesome church
5. I now have a building that I can work in
6. I have the engine/transmission to put in my Jeep
7. I am enjoying School and learning
8. I know that God has been and is preparing me for something amazing
9. My schedule is much more flexible than this time last year
10. I am able to enjoy the greatest years of my life with the ones that I love the most!

“Like a pregnant woman, I’m expecting”

You probably read the title and thought…WHAT???  My dad was telling me about going fishing with a friend of his a couple of years ago.  They had been on the water for a couple of hours and had not had a bite.  As some other fishermen passed by they slowed and asked if my dad and his friend had caught anything. My dads friend (probably about 70 years old) replied….”Nope, but I’m like a pregnant woman, I’m expecting.”  I can’t help but laugh as I think about my dad’s friend Mr. Phillips making that comment.  That is not the typical reply that you would expect to hear.  But it certainly makes sense. 

That phrase has caused me to think.  What am I expecting?  Just in everyday life what do I expect?  Will I just be content to let life pass me by?  Or will I change my approach to achieve the goals that I have set? There are three answers that I can give.

1. I will expect great things in my future.
2. I have to do something in order to see them come to pass.
3. Each day will bring a new challenge and things may be painful and difficult, but the end result is far greater than just letting life slip past me.

The Envelope

TOP SECRET

“Top Secret” It was so inspiring to open that envelope this past Sunday morning.  Here is the history why.  About five years ago Rachel and I were in a church service where a man came to us and told us something.  Milton Martin was the prophet that approached us.  He let us know that God was going to radically change our lives.  We left somewhat puzzled by that church service because he simply told us that we would recieve a life changing….envelope.  That’s it just an envelope.  (I know he was legitimate because he knew way too much about the people in the service that day, and a lady’s deaf ear was healed by God in that service.) 

I had no idea when my pastor started the series ”Crazy Love” that it would speak to me the way it has, nor did I know that it would be completed the way that it has.  This past Sunday morning several things were confirmed in my spirit about what God wants to do in my life and in my family.  But most of all, the envelope reassured me that God’s word is true.  He is faithful!  

The envelope actually had a mission and what was needed to complete it, (money) in it this past week.  Money that is to be spent on someone outside my family or church, just to say that Rock Church Loves!  I willingly accept this challenge, I accept my mission.  To go into my world and love.  Not in word only, but also in action.  It is my desire to show this world the love of Jesus Christ through my life.   I realized that not only has God given me a mission in life, but he has also given me the means to complete that mission.  I also realized that I am the only one that can complete it.  No one else can complete my mission. 

Pastors of Rock Church, Thank you!  Your obedience has brought life change!

Let it Snow!

  Its about 1:30 am and I am waiting for snow.  Supposedly it is going to snow in the southeast today during the “Winter Storm” that is brewing.  For some reason I am doubtful of any major catastrophe in our area due to the “Worst snow storm we’ve had in years!”
  Granted, If it snows 1/2 an inch it will be the worst snow storm that we’ve had in years.  At any rate for now I will bundle up, stay warm and hopefully be able to play in the snow with my kids tomorrow.  Jackson and Olivia will not know what to think of it.  Have fun making snowmen, or just sitting in the warmth (like most people with sense do…LOL)

What is it all about?

I have not had much opportunity lately to blog.  I feel like I havent had much time for anything.  Maybe it is just an overload of holidays, work, school, family, and everything else.  In the blur of life around me I have finally had time to think about a few things.  Here are a few of my thoughts.

• Sure, I am getting laid off from work, but should I not consider that as an opportunity to achieve more?
• I have a couple of weeks off before Christmas….I am going to love that time with my family.
• How do I focus, and find what my next step is in my life?
• What is my life all about???

Today I viewed the story of a young man with muscular dystrophy.  He had attempted suicide multiple times without success.  Finally, his father told him to stop feeling sorry for himself.  Once he allowed that to sink in he began viewing this disease as a gift.  An opportunity! 

I then sat and read the accounts of several martyrs tonight.  Morbid? No.  A cause for a self exam?  Yes.

What is it all about?  My life, Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally, in regard to my family, in dealing with my struggles…… everything….   What is it all about???  As of now this is what I do know!

1. It is about legacy…. Not of me, but of Christ.  A living display of the Master Creator that made you and I in His image. 
2. It is about my wife….  I can succeed at everything in life, becoming famous, wealthy, whatever….But if I fail at my commitment to my wife, then not only have I robbed myself and my wife, but also our children, (someday)grandchildren, friends and other family.
3. It is about my Children….  I can never do in my lifetime what they can in theirs.  It is a great responsibility to teach them that life is far greater than what they directly see.
4. Perspective….    I cannot possibly understand what my life is all about until I have the proper perspective.

What will be next in my life?  I have no clue….. 

What is it all about??   That is becoming more and more clear.  I want to be the guy in the picture that.. whenever others see me, they see Christ living in me!

Who do you look like?

One last thing..  In China, November of 2000; 450 churches were blown up, and destroyed.  The statement made by the wife of Pastor Li (A pastor who was imprisoned more that fifteen times in 18 months) was this. “

“Don’t feel sorry for us, At least we are constantly reminded that we are in a spiritual war. We know for whom we are fighting. We know who the enemy is. And we are fighting. Perhaps we should pray for you Christians outside of China. In your leisure, in your affluence, in your freedom, sometimes you no longer realize that you are in spiritual warfare.”

Man, that certainly reminds me what it is all about!

 

 

Everything changes!

What a year! 

This year has been packed… I mean full of change!  Change can be a good thing, most of the time it is.  So since the year is almost over I just wanted to reflect on some of the things that have changed this year.

Top ten changes for me this year

1. My attitude-  I have had to refocus several times on the fact that my life is for HIM not for me.
2. Education-    WHAT???  I never thought I would say that I am going to school again, but I love it!
3. Work-           UMMM.., yeah theres been change, but I’m still just trusting God on this one. lol
4. New dedication to my Rachel-   Man, I love this woman, She is amazing
5. Firefighter?-  I have enjoyed my new hobby, and hey, I get paid for it.  I still have a lot to learn though
6. RockChurch-  I love it…. I feel so at home and have grown so much.. you have to check this place out
7. Non-apathy??-  I guess thats such a word,  well who cares?   I care!
8. Perspective-  I have realized that no matter what my profession is, I can be an example of Christ.
9. Communion-  Rachel and I have started a new family tradition of communion with the kids
10. Passion-        My passion has become for family, life, love, Christ, and helping others ( I dont think that this one changed,  I have just more defined it) 

With that……I’m looking forward to next year…

Keeping Up Appearances

In my area there used to be a show that came on television called “Keeping Up Appearances.”  The story line was of the Bucket family.  The mother however, could not accept for her name to be pronounced as it is spelled.  She chose to pronounce it “Bouquet” as if to make herself more appealing.  It was sometimes comical how she would make herself so to be something that she was not. 

Oh how often I have done the same thing.   I would cover myself over acting as though I was perfect.  Showing to everyone else that I had everything figured out.  I was great at hypocrisy, acting one way, yet privately living something completely different.  I had to make others believe that I was something I simply was not.  I wanted to be genuine, but I was far from it.  I knew the Bible, I had felt God’s touch, but I was choosing to live a life of sin and shame. 

If you have been keeping up with Rachel’s blog you know that I have struggled with pornography.  One of the greatest keys in getting past porn has been openess.  There is no way that I can cover something up and expect it to go away.  I have heard people say that “You don’t need to air your dirty laundry to everyone!”  My reply to that comment is simple….  If you don’t air it, you can’t expect to get rid of the stinch!  If you want to get rid of a smell in your car or house what do you do?  You have to air it out and clean it up. Have you ever walked into a musty smelling house and sprayed air freshener?  You end up with a “fresh” musty smell. 

When I finally realized that it was just selfish pride keeping me from being open things began to change.  I realized that by keeping things hidden from everyone around enabled me to also keep things hidden from Rachel.  I finally determined to be open with her, she allowed me the opportunity to share everything with her.  The last time was different,  She gave me a chance to open up to her without guilt.  The times before she had given me ultimatums,  This time she gave me herself. 

I cannot really express how much things are different now, we have an amazing marriage.  Things have not been easy.  I have put Rachel through an incredible amount of heartbreak, stress, emotional rollercoasters, and failure.  I rejected her, in all honesty the pain that I put her through is abuse.  I never wanted to hurt her, but I did.  There is no way that I can just cover that over.  The only thing that I can do is openly love her, put away the past, and be the husband to her that God created me to be. 

I do not ever want to be just an appearance again.  I do not want to be a hard shell that looks right, but is filled only with decay.   I want to be genuine, my prayer has changed from “Lord don’t let me be tempted by porn!”  to “Lord, help me get past the temptation, and help me to be real!”

I pray that God will bless you for taking the time to read our story. If you have or are struggling with porn and need someone to talk to, I would be honoured.  Know that Christ does not condemn you, He wants to show his love and compassion to you, and help you get past the hidden sins that condemn.  Let’s be real together and forget about keeping up appearances!