The Envelope

TOP SECRET

“Top Secret” It was so inspiring to open that envelope this past Sunday morning.  Here is the history why.  About five years ago Rachel and I were in a church service where a man came to us and told us something.  Milton Martin was the prophet that approached us.  He let us know that God was going to radically change our lives.  We left somewhat puzzled by that church service because he simply told us that we would recieve a life changing….envelope.  That’s it just an envelope.  (I know he was legitimate because he knew way too much about the people in the service that day, and a lady’s deaf ear was healed by God in that service.) 

I had no idea when my pastor started the series ”Crazy Love” that it would speak to me the way it has, nor did I know that it would be completed the way that it has.  This past Sunday morning several things were confirmed in my spirit about what God wants to do in my life and in my family.  But most of all, the envelope reassured me that God’s word is true.  He is faithful!  

The envelope actually had a mission and what was needed to complete it, (money) in it this past week.  Money that is to be spent on someone outside my family or church, just to say that Rock Church Loves!  I willingly accept this challenge, I accept my mission.  To go into my world and love.  Not in word only, but also in action.  It is my desire to show this world the love of Jesus Christ through my life.   I realized that not only has God given me a mission in life, but he has also given me the means to complete that mission.  I also realized that I am the only one that can complete it.  No one else can complete my mission. 

Pastors of Rock Church, Thank you!  Your obedience has brought life change!

Let it Snow!

  Its about 1:30 am and I am waiting for snow.  Supposedly it is going to snow in the southeast today during the “Winter Storm” that is brewing.  For some reason I am doubtful of any major catastrophe in our area due to the “Worst snow storm we’ve had in years!”
  Granted, If it snows 1/2 an inch it will be the worst snow storm that we’ve had in years.  At any rate for now I will bundle up, stay warm and hopefully be able to play in the snow with my kids tomorrow.  Jackson and Olivia will not know what to think of it.  Have fun making snowmen, or just sitting in the warmth (like most people with sense do…LOL)

What is it all about?

I have not had much opportunity lately to blog.  I feel like I havent had much time for anything.  Maybe it is just an overload of holidays, work, school, family, and everything else.  In the blur of life around me I have finally had time to think about a few things.  Here are a few of my thoughts.

• Sure, I am getting laid off from work, but should I not consider that as an opportunity to achieve more?
• I have a couple of weeks off before Christmas….I am going to love that time with my family.
• How do I focus, and find what my next step is in my life?
• What is my life all about???

Today I viewed the story of a young man with muscular dystrophy.  He had attempted suicide multiple times without success.  Finally, his father told him to stop feeling sorry for himself.  Once he allowed that to sink in he began viewing this disease as a gift.  An opportunity! 

I then sat and read the accounts of several martyrs tonight.  Morbid? No.  A cause for a self exam?  Yes.

What is it all about?  My life, Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally, in regard to my family, in dealing with my struggles…… everything….   What is it all about???  As of now this is what I do know!

1. It is about legacy…. Not of me, but of Christ.  A living display of the Master Creator that made you and I in His image. 
2. It is about my wife….  I can succeed at everything in life, becoming famous, wealthy, whatever….But if I fail at my commitment to my wife, then not only have I robbed myself and my wife, but also our children, (someday)grandchildren, friends and other family.
3. It is about my Children….  I can never do in my lifetime what they can in theirs.  It is a great responsibility to teach them that life is far greater than what they directly see.
4. Perspective….    I cannot possibly understand what my life is all about until I have the proper perspective.

What will be next in my life?  I have no clue….. 

What is it all about??   That is becoming more and more clear.  I want to be the guy in the picture that.. whenever others see me, they see Christ living in me!

Who do you look like?

One last thing..  In China, November of 2000; 450 churches were blown up, and destroyed.  The statement made by the wife of Pastor Li (A pastor who was imprisoned more that fifteen times in 18 months) was this. “

“Don’t feel sorry for us, At least we are constantly reminded that we are in a spiritual war. We know for whom we are fighting. We know who the enemy is. And we are fighting. Perhaps we should pray for you Christians outside of China. In your leisure, in your affluence, in your freedom, sometimes you no longer realize that you are in spiritual warfare.”

Man, that certainly reminds me what it is all about!

 

 

Everything changes!

What a year! 

This year has been packed… I mean full of change!  Change can be a good thing, most of the time it is.  So since the year is almost over I just wanted to reflect on some of the things that have changed this year.

Top ten changes for me this year

1. My attitude-  I have had to refocus several times on the fact that my life is for HIM not for me.
2. Education-    WHAT???  I never thought I would say that I am going to school again, but I love it!
3. Work-           UMMM.., yeah theres been change, but I’m still just trusting God on this one. lol
4. New dedication to my Rachel-   Man, I love this woman, She is amazing
5. Firefighter?-  I have enjoyed my new hobby, and hey, I get paid for it.  I still have a lot to learn though
6. RockChurch-  I love it…. I feel so at home and have grown so much.. you have to check this place out
7. Non-apathy??-  I guess thats such a word,  well who cares?   I care!
8. Perspective-  I have realized that no matter what my profession is, I can be an example of Christ.
9. Communion-  Rachel and I have started a new family tradition of communion with the kids
10. Passion-        My passion has become for family, life, love, Christ, and helping others ( I dont think that this one changed,  I have just more defined it) 

With that……I’m looking forward to next year…

Keeping Up Appearances

In my area there used to be a show that came on television called “Keeping Up Appearances.”  The story line was of the Bucket family.  The mother however, could not accept for her name to be pronounced as it is spelled.  She chose to pronounce it “Bouquet” as if to make herself more appealing.  It was sometimes comical how she would make herself so to be something that she was not. 

Oh how often I have done the same thing.   I would cover myself over acting as though I was perfect.  Showing to everyone else that I had everything figured out.  I was great at hypocrisy, acting one way, yet privately living something completely different.  I had to make others believe that I was something I simply was not.  I wanted to be genuine, but I was far from it.  I knew the Bible, I had felt God’s touch, but I was choosing to live a life of sin and shame. 

If you have been keeping up with Rachel’s blog you know that I have struggled with pornography.  One of the greatest keys in getting past porn has been openess.  There is no way that I can cover something up and expect it to go away.  I have heard people say that “You don’t need to air your dirty laundry to everyone!”  My reply to that comment is simple….  If you don’t air it, you can’t expect to get rid of the stinch!  If you want to get rid of a smell in your car or house what do you do?  You have to air it out and clean it up. Have you ever walked into a musty smelling house and sprayed air freshener?  You end up with a “fresh” musty smell. 

When I finally realized that it was just selfish pride keeping me from being open things began to change.  I realized that by keeping things hidden from everyone around enabled me to also keep things hidden from Rachel.  I finally determined to be open with her, she allowed me the opportunity to share everything with her.  The last time was different,  She gave me a chance to open up to her without guilt.  The times before she had given me ultimatums,  This time she gave me herself. 

I cannot really express how much things are different now, we have an amazing marriage.  Things have not been easy.  I have put Rachel through an incredible amount of heartbreak, stress, emotional rollercoasters, and failure.  I rejected her, in all honesty the pain that I put her through is abuse.  I never wanted to hurt her, but I did.  There is no way that I can just cover that over.  The only thing that I can do is openly love her, put away the past, and be the husband to her that God created me to be. 

I do not ever want to be just an appearance again.  I do not want to be a hard shell that looks right, but is filled only with decay.   I want to be genuine, my prayer has changed from “Lord don’t let me be tempted by porn!”  to “Lord, help me get past the temptation, and help me to be real!”

I pray that God will bless you for taking the time to read our story. If you have or are struggling with porn and need someone to talk to, I would be honoured.  Know that Christ does not condemn you, He wants to show his love and compassion to you, and help you get past the hidden sins that condemn.  Let’s be real together and forget about keeping up appearances!

MUD

Rachel and I have both prayed and thought intensely about the blog that we have been posting.  It is not her story, however, it is not my story either… It is indeed OUR story. 

I heard it said just today that because of this post our names are mud.  My reply was simply this,  “That is awesome!”   I rejoice because there is one very relevant truth.  When I decrease, He increases.  That is just the way God is, he allows our struggles to make us stronger.  When we overcome them and learn from our mistakes, he can then use us more mightily.  When we overcome pride and selfishness…. that is all just icing on the cake.  Check out the blog at www.rachelrowell.wordpress.com leave me some feedback.

For now, it is off to bed to get some rest and see what God has in store for tomorrow.  I will rest well knowing that my name is mud!

Coming Up For Air

I pose a simple question to those of us that know Christ.  What is important to you?  If you had to pick the most important role in your life, what would it be?  This will begin a series of blogs about me, my experiences, and what I have learned.  Do I know it all???  um, ..NO!  But I do know this one thing to be truth;  Jesus Christ is constantly at work molding us into who He desires us to be.  As much as we want to prosper, He wants to prosper us.

I used to think that church was all about me.  I would go and say, “That was a good message, it touched ME.” or “I liked that song”, or I go there to be FED” .  Don’t get me wrong, we all need to be ministered to, but it seems as though we can become so overcome by our own spiritual needs and desires that we ignore the very things God has called us to do and be.  Think about it this way.

If you look at a whale, they are very unique creatures.  They live in and cannot get out of the water,  yet they breath air.  They cannot go into a deep sleep because doing so could cause them to drown.  They are mammals, so the mother actually carries her offspring.  They are powerful, but still come under attack.  Can you see the simlitude to a Christian?  We are in the world but not of it…  We have to have the breath of Holy Spirit to give us life, because if we get too caught up in the world around us it can overwhelm us and cut off our breath.  We come under attack sometimes, but with Christ we are strong. 

I think the one thing that stands out the most, is the whales ability to go to great depths.  How many times have you just wanted more of God?  To go deeper.  Where we know that we can be fed more and more.  Going where the pressure seems almost overwhelming, but we can take it.  Going deep spiritually….

The sperm whale can go to a depth of 12,000 feet,  there it feeds on giant squid.  The pressure from the ocean is tremendous at that depth.  The food is good, the whale is at home, but there is one major conflict… it needs air. 

No matter how great our spiritual life is, no matter how deep we can dive into the spiritual world around us, we must remember one thing.  It is absolute essentual to our spiritual being that we remember to resurface! 

We have to come back up to get more air.  We cannot ever become so consumed by the deep things of God that we completely miss the purpose for which we were created.  We are here to be salt and light.

 If we are so consumed by deep things, how can we devote time to sharing God’s love to those around us? I’m not saying those things don’t have their place.  Study the Word, go deep,  learn, get the good food that you can find no other place,  but resurface and share the greatness and love of God with others!

Going deep is wonderful and necessary for spiritual growth, if you’ve ever been there you know what I’m talking about. However, you can’t stay only there and be effective in reaching those around you. You must have the ability to be shallow and deep at the same time to get the job done.

Am I making any sense??

What are your thoughts?

The Celebration Continues

Today, Rachel and I got up about 10:00 and headed (where else but) to the Crabtree Valley Mall.  I think we walked around that place about five times today.  We just strolled, took our time, and relaxed…alone. Something we don’t get much of these days.  We looked at things and daydreamed about our future.  Although we were kidless, somehow everything seemed to turn the conversation back to Olivia and Jackson, and how much they would just love this or that.

We ended up at the Disney store.  We bought some cool stuff to take back to the kids, and quite frankly, we were excited to be taking some stuff back to them. The day was going great!

Then, I did something really stupid.  When we stopped to eat lunch, I sat the bag under our table to keep it out of the way.  Huge mistake!! About twenty minutes later, Rachel looked at me and said, “Where is the Disney Store bag?” My heart sank. CRAP!!!!!!! I instantly knew were I had left it, but was sure it wouldn’t still be there.  Rachel went tossed her purse to me and went dashing through the mall like a mad lady, hoping to get there before someone else found it and snatched it. After all that running, she got there, and of course, no bag.

We went to mall security, customer service, and back to the Disney Store to see if someone might have by chance returned it. Nothing. To be honest, we were feeling downright sick. But as we were walking out the doors to leave the mall, Rachel said, “OK, why don’t we go back to the store right beside where we ate and just ask if maybe someone turned it in there.” So, I took her advice and we made the looooooong walk back. 

Fortunately for us, a sales clerk needed to use the same table we had eaten at to do an interview, saw the bag, and set it aside in her store hoping that maybe someone would return for them.  (Needless to say, I was super fortunate!) 

We stopped by the Smithfield Outlets on the way home, and headed back to pick up the kids.

Upon arrival Papa (my dad) stated that Olivia had something to tell us.  Knowing Olivia, the first thing out of both our mouths was,  “Olivia, what did you do?”  She emphatically replied, “Nothing!” We thought for a brief second and asked, “What did Jackson do?”  This time my dad chimed in. “They were fine, but we have some pictures.” 

We then took a stroll inside to see what they had been up to.  Olivia finally told us that she had caught what she referred to as a, “My size fish.”  Her Papa had taken her fishing, and she had caught her first two fish ever today.  She was so proud. And so were we.

It was soooo nice to get away, but so good to be back with our babies. What an end to a great weekend!

Relaxing

It’s sunday night about 12:30 and I’m apparently swapping roles with Rachel.  She is typically blogging while I sleep, but tonight, the roles have reversed.  Here is an update on her birthday celebration.  She said that she wanted to get away for a day or two, and realizing how much we really do need a refreshing weekend, I obliged.  We left town and headed for Durham.  I know, I know, You don’t like Duke…but their orchestra was rather impressive.  They had a pops concert on the lawn at Duke university and I felt that would be relaxing for both of us. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Needless to say, we enjoyed the relaxation and then toured a small section of the campus.  We both climbed up in a tree.  After feeling like I had conquered the world, I decided to try another….It was a little TOO BIG though.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After all of the relaxation, enjoyment, laughter, sunshine, and fun….You know it… We went to EAT!!!  Rachel wanted crab legs and we found some.  In fact, I think this is one of the best if not THE BEST seafood restaurant I have ever been to, and it is in Raleigh, not on the coast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s just say…She loved the crab legs!

 

 

 

 

That’s all for now I guess.  I’m going to get some rest because I feel sure that she will want to go to Crabtree tomorrow.  Anyhow, check back; there’s more to come!

Happy Birthday Baby!

This is the absolute most amazing woman in the world!!!  It is still a couple of days away, but I want to let everyone know that it is soon to be my sweetheart’s birthday.  I could sit and brag on her for hours!  Instead I will share her value, charisma, and charm with you this way.

Proverbs 31:10-31 says:

10  Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
      She is more precious than rubies.
 11 Her husband can trust her,
      and she will greatly enrich his life.
 12 She brings him good, not harm,
      all the days of her life.

 13 She finds wool and flax
      and busily spins it.
 14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
      bringing her food from afar.
 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
      and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

 16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
      with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 17 She is energetic and strong,
      a hard worker.
 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
      her lamp burns late into the night.

 19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
      her fingers twisting fiber.
 20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
      and opens her arms to the needy.
 21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
      for everyone has warm^[c] clothes.

 22 She makes her own bedspreads.
      She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
 23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
      where he sits with the other civic leaders.
 24 She makes belted linen garments
      and sashes to sell to the merchants.

 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
      and she laughs without fear of the future.
 26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
      and she gives instructions with kindness.
 27 She carefully watches everything in her household
      and suffers nothing from laziness.

 28 Her children stand and bless her.
      Her husband praises her:
 29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
      but you surpass them all!”

 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
      but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
 31 Reward her for all she has done.
      Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

I love you Baby, Happy Birthday!!!